I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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