my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have already put on my inside pants.
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