I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
