I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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