Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
