porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
