We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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