and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
