If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
