Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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