Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
