I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
