No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
