Umm I'm too high to move.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
