what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
