Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
