Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
