I wish I only lived at night.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize