chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize