you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
