I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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