i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Never underestimate the power of titties
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
