I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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