I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
