That's when you crack a 10am beer
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
