i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
