I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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