We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
