Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
