david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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