i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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