The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
