I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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