So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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