New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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