dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
