I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
