didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is classic penis vs brain.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
wow bdsm is so cute
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
