I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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