plz talk dirty to me
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Porn is love you can see.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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