Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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