I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
