fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Randomize
