I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize