She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
