It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
