your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize