Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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