Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
