im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
as a side note pls kill me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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