well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
