Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
