So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Randomize
