..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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