Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
