So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
