My balls are so social today.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
