you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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