he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
