i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
