I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's never too late to be topless.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize